Crazy is as Crazy does

December 30, 2008 at 8:04 pm | In Musings | 1 Comment
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What, you thought I was done with the crazy? Oh, far from it. Another snippet for you!

So, my brain seems to work on two channels. That is, at most, if not all times, I have two separate trains of thought occurring simultaneously. I’ve been known to have a song stuck in my head, and when I try and distract myself and think about something else, the something else happens at the same time as the song. Other times, I can find myself experiencing two very different reactions at the same time.

It’s not so obvious that I have two voices in my head, arguing with each other. It’s rather subtle, not something I notice unless I’m actually thinking about it. As I write this, I’m thinking about the next words I’ll be typing, repeating the words to the song I’m listening to in my head, and, since my msn icon is bouncing, trying to guess what people are saying to me. At the SAME FUCKING TIME. Not, like, flicking between all those thoughts rapidly. I’m actually having them simultaneously.

Also, I can think and say completely unrelated things at the same time. I think this one is definitely unique, because when other people seem to do it, they muddle up their words. Obviously, I can’t know for sure.

For all I know, this is totally normal. Maybe everyone has multiple thoughts occurring at once. Perhaps the commonly accepted notion that we have a single, constant stream of thought was fabricated, or at least misguided. I doubt it, though.

I don’t think of it as a bad thing, like I’m some kind of freak. I also don’t think of it as a good thing, like my brain is more competent than anyone else’s. It’s painfully apparent that it isn’t. It’s just something about me that other people don’t seem to share. Nothing more, nothing less.

Why am I writing this here? I don’t know. I enjoy the simple act of writing, regardless of the content. I don’t really care who reads this anymore. I would write it even if no-one did. I would write it if everyone read it. It makes me feel better, putting these things down into words. I could always do it and not publish them, but there’s something about them being accessible and open that makes them that much more satisfactory to me.

I’m beginning to pick up the metaphorical threads of rambling here, so I may cut myself off. I didn’t really go into depth on this one, but I don’t think I really need to, nor do I have any desire too.

Review: Twilight

December 28, 2008 at 8:10 pm | In Books, Movies, Rants, Reviews | 2 Comments
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First of all, I am sick to fucking death of Twilight. Everyone falls into one of two camps: screaming, whining, immature Edward lovers who think that Twilight is the veritable pinnacle of all that is good in the world, and screaming, whining, immature haters who think that it’s the worst thing to happen to literature/movies since anything.

Fuck you both.

Also, to clarify, I am reviewing both the book and movie here. I am aware that they are very separate entities. I hope you are aware that I don’t give a shit.

So, let’s start with the story. It’s a typical teenage romance. Girl meets boy, they fall in love, blah blah blah random challenge, they overcome it and their love is stronger. She spices it up by making one of the protagonists a vampire (though her interpretation on vampires is fairly loose), but it’s in no way original.

The characters are all fairly two dimensional, and the events offer nothing in the way of excitement, tension, or really any form of emotional response.

That’s it. It’s so mediocre that I can’t muster up anything more than that.

The movie is a fairly decent interpretation, the actors all play their parts well, but not perfectly. Does it change anything? Not really.

So, let’s look at the two sides.

Those who love it love it because regardless of their limited personalities, the characters are all very endearing. The book is easy to read (read: simple) and for the most part, enjoyable. The story, whilst rather lacking, is really just a vehicle for the characters to interact in various ways, and to be exposed to the audience. Basically, it’s a fun, teenage romance about vampires.

Those who hate it target the poor writing, story, character development, lack of realism, and basically anything they can sink their teeth into (no pun intended). They criticise the relationship between Edward and Bella as being very sexist, Edward as being controlling, Bella as being submissive, and the way the relationship forms over a very short period of time. They complain about the way that most of the book is dedicated to describing Edward in basically every even vaguely positive description available.

So basically, they’re both right. Yes, those problems all exist. But they can’t ruin the book unless you let them. No, it’s not a literary masterpiece, but it never claims to be. It’s a story that someone decided to write down and publish, and became popular. If you go into the book with a positive attitude, I almost guarantee you’ll enjoy it. There’s also a very good chance that you will find Edward every bit as irresistible as everyone else. If you go into it expecting crap, crap is what you’ll get. And it’ll be your own fault.

So, fuck you to both parties.

Go fuck yourself, anyone who dedicate any amount of time to pointing out all the flaws that everyone already knows. Go burn your eyes out and replace them with hot coals, all you screaming fuckwits who dedicate yourselves to a FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER. Go throw up your own intestines, anyone who thinks Twilight is one of the greatest literary pieces of our day. Go lather yourself in honey and feed yourself to fire ants, anyone who thinks that it’s one of the worst.

In fact, basically anyone can go fuck themselves. I’m sick of Twilight.

Phase… whatever phase we’re up to

December 27, 2008 at 7:56 pm | In News | Leave a Comment
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So, I’ve taken another step towards actually starting Almost Incidental. I’m creating a new blog for Alex and Becky (and me) as the official blog for the comic. The comic itself, I’ve decided, I’ll host on Blogger. I know there are dedicated comic hosting sites, like drunkduck, smackjeeves and keenspot, but they all require advertising to let you keep your comic there. Blogger, on the other hand, is free with no advertising, and I can put my own ads up very easily.

If it proves successful, I’ll host it myself, using a plugin for WordPress.org called ComicPress. That means I have to pay for a server and a domain thought, so I won’t do it unless I know it’ll have some degree of success.

If you read Alex and Becky’s blogs, you’ll notice they talk about creating the comic themselves. This comes from Penny Arcade, albeit loosely. The creators of Penny Arcade use the two main characters as their alter egos, essentially. So the characters within the comic are also the writer and artist OF the comic. It’s a fairly unique formula that I love. It wouldn’t work for me, of course, because I’m both the writer and artist. But I can apply a similar principle, having them represent the artist and writer in me, because those two come from very different places within me. We’ll see how it works out.

I’ll add the links in the sidebar soon, but for now the links are comic and blog.

Melting

December 27, 2008 at 5:48 pm | In Complaints | 1 Comment
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I hate hot weather. I’m naturally lazy, but when it’s hot, that laziness reaches new lows. Even when I actually want to do something, I can’t be bothered. When I play games, my hands get sweaty. All my chocolate melts, and I can’t keep it in the fridge because it’ll get eaten. It’s too hot to wear pants, but I have a problem with wearing shorts. I’m very sensitive to the sun, so I’m essentially forced to stay indoors. Of course, I could wear sunscreen, but I have a problem with that, too. It’s too humid to properly straighten my hair. I don’t sleep well in the heat. And I don’t sleep well anyway, so in this weather, I get basically nothing.

There are positives, I guess. Honestly, I can’t think of any, but I’m sure they exist. Summer fashion? No better or worse than any other season, but I guess it’s something to look forward to. I don’t object to pretty people wearing less clothes, but I don’t want to look around and see fat, topless men. Ew.

Summer activities don’t appeal to me much, either. Beaches are alright in principle, but I loathe sand, and along with my aforementioned sun aversion, they don’t make for the greatest trips. Summer also seems to be something of a sporting season, and that never goes down well with me.  People being outdoors, enjoying the sun and whatnot, just make me angry.

Right now I have both windows open, my door open, and my fan going, and I’m still hot. I’m even wearing shorts. Summer sucks ASS.

In other news, I learned today that both Simon Amstell and John Barrowman, two Brits of whom I am very fond, are both gay. Lucky me, I’m in with a shot after all :D

Yeah, I got nothing else. Slow day. Stupid heat.

Odyssey/The Heart of Darkness

December 24, 2008 at 4:38 pm | In Musings | 1 Comment
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The concept was proposed Wednesday; a journey north, to Sydney. After concluding all business by Friday, we arrived in the heart of Sydney by Saturday night. After copious hours within roasting in the car, with naught for entertainment but old music and new words, it was a welcome relief to be unchained. So there we were. New city, no boundaries, no plans.

We learned a lot about Sydney. Navigating the perplexing urban jungle that is the city was a lesson in both patience and frustration. Supermarkets are few and far between (we found only one in the entirety of the city) but convenience stores litter every block. The city felt hollow, empty, unnatural.

We soon found the reason for the desolation and silence. In our travels, we came across several youths with swords of glowing light. My heart soared at the possibilities, and we raced through the night to the source.

We followed the lights, and trickling crowds, but found no swords.

Instead, we found the city’s heart, arriving to a great cheer and fanfare.

We did find our lightsabers eventually. To them, an overpriced trinket. To us, a symbol. Of our youth, of imagination, of popular culture, of our new found freedom. So armed, we seized the night, accompanied by explosions in the sky, littering the starscape with the briefest of coloured flashes and sound.

The Christmas cheer was alive and well. A solo photo became a group exercise. We never learned their names, but I’ll never forget their smiles.

The night was ours. With glowing swords, we shared the silence, and countless words. Of all the nights to arrive, ours was unsurpassed in its perfection.

All it took was a simple question, one wrong turn, and we had a night to remember.

The following day, we found a park, and learned a simple truth. Parking is expensive, but parks remain eternally free.

And so passed another day in Sydney, nothing tangible achieved, yet a richer experience than any shared with those left behind. We were pioneers, treading new ground over innumerable forgotten footsteps.

But two days in the heart of darkness began its oppression, and we felt suffocated by it. We fled north once more, arriving in Manly after a tedious and lengthy escape from Sydney’s maze of bridges and tunnels.

In Manly, we found peace. Sun, beaches, and swimsuits. Beautiful people and gleeful children, we were outsiders once again.

Drunken abuse, hurled over empty space. He left, but reverberating words echoed within the void.

And so we journeyed home. Familiar, safe and boring.

***

I took notes in sketch form. I’ll take those sketches, and form from them a visual re-telling of our journey. Then I’ll leave it somewhere, for you to read, or not.

Merry Christmas.

That’s my girl

December 16, 2008 at 10:16 pm | In Cool Stuff | Leave a Comment
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This time, Becky has a thing or two to say about strip clubs. Check it out.

Review: Penny Arcade: On the Rain Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode 2

December 16, 2008 at 11:44 am | In Games, Reviews | Leave a Comment
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Yeah, I couldn’t wait to get around to part 2. This will be a lot shorter though, because the games look, feel, and play very similarly.

For the most part, Episode 2 improved on Episode 1 in a lot of ways. The story/exploration element was longer and more in depth, which was rewarding. The characters all had new moves and weapons, and a wider variety of enemies meant even the combat didn’t feel like playing the same game again. The story picked up well where Episode 1 left off, and I am definitely looking forward to Episode 3.

Though Episode 1 was fairly straightforward when it came to sticking to the basic formula of the game, Episode 2 deviated from that somewhat, exploring new concepts and ideas. I enjoyed these parts the most, as they really managed to break up the gameplay.

The dialogue was just as good, the cutscenes slightly better, and the sound, much the same. Not much to say on this account, really.

I did notice some more problems, however. In combat, clicking enemies to attack them got rather irritating, as clicking on the enemy itself wouldn’t suffice. Each enemy had a small selection ring beneath it, and you had to click within that ring. That was fine for some of the smaller/thinner enemies, but against larger enemies (especially spiders), it meant a lot of waving the mouse around trying to find exactly where that centre was.

Also, the final boss of the game, though impressive, disappointed me a little. Episode 1’s final boss is a gargantuan statue that you have to destroy in an epic battle. Episode 2, though perhaps visually more impressive, is defeated by a very simple formula, that didn’t leave me with the same feeling of achievement.

A few things added in Episode 2 included a difficulty level (which I immediately set to ‘gentle’ ), the ability to unlock an ‘insane’ difficulty upon beating the game, a few power-up granting outfits, a page to review your statistics, achievements, and of course a new story, areas and enemies.

Definitely an improvement on Episode 1, and I can’t wait for Episode 3.

Review: Penny Arcade: On the Rain Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One

December 15, 2008 at 7:25 pm | In Games, Reviews | 1 Comment
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The first thing I should say about this game, obvious though it may be, is that it is aimed at Penny Arcade fans. If you don’t read Penny Arcade, you’ll miss a lot of the jokes, and some of it won’t make sense. That said, even without that background knowledge, it’s still possible to enjoy the game.

The game’s objective, according to Gabe and Tycho, is to play as an interactive comic experience, and it achieves this aim remarkably well. The story is well written, compelling you to push further into the game, just to find out what happens next. It’s also humorous for the vast majority of the game, from the dialogue to the very foundations of the game (The story revolves around chases a giant robot called Fruit Fucker Prime, a Penny Arcade joke. It’s basically a juicer that ‘fucks’ the fruit to create the juice, only in this, it’s massive). 

So, story wise, I was very impressed. It’s not a full-length game, but it’s not supposed to be, so I can’t fault them on that. The writing is sharp and there were countless moments that had me laughing out loud at the jokes or ridiculous concepts they came up with. Nothing seemed forced or out of place, and they progressed through the story admirably.

Visually, it was hit and miss. The cutscenes were all in 2D, like the comic, and they looked amazing. I never cease to be amazed by Gabe’s artistic talent. The dialogue too was in 2D, and played out very much like a comic, even more so than the cutscenes. The gameplay, though, was in 3D, which disappointed me. I understand it had to be 3D to allow for 3D gameplay, but the art did not translate well to 3D.

There wasn’t a lot of spoken dialogue in the game, but coming from a comic, that’s probably a good thing. One of the things I like most about comics is that I can imagine the voices of the characters, and when they make the jump to animation, like CAD or PVP, I’m always let down by the voices. What dialogue is spoken (The narrator at the start of the game) is brilliantly performed. The rest of the sounds in the game (the soundtrack, sound effects etc) are all enjoyable, but not outstanding.

The gameplay was interesting. It was very simple (click to move, and click on items to interact, click on enemies to fight them) with the games focus being combat and some puzzle solving, both of which were pulled off well. The puzzle solving basically meant a lot of going between different places clicking on different things, then going back to a central point and exploring elsewhere, but the fact that it never felt boring or repetitive is a testament to the game’s strength. It didn’t help that it was quite short, either. The combat involved waiting for abilities to ‘charge’, then using them by clicking on the attack, then clicking on the enemy. Special attacks involved extra challenges (Pressing the right sequence of keys, pressing the space bar enough before the timer ran out etc) and you could time blocks to decrease enemy damage or even earn a counterattack. It wasn’t groundbreaking, but it was solid, and I enjoyed it.

As a game, it wasn’t the best I’ve ever played, but it was an enjoyable experience, and definitely worth the $20 I payed for it. I’d recommend it only to Penny Arcade fans though, if you don’t like their style of humour, you probably won’t like this game. And as an interactive comic experience, as they meant it to be, it was brilliant, and I can’t wait for Episode 2 to finish downloading.

Takes One to Know One

December 14, 2008 at 3:32 pm | In Cool Stuff, Games | 3 Comments
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Speaking of Penny Arcade, I purchased their game, On the Rain Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode 1 yesterday. Apart from being an unexpectedly enjoyable and humorous experience, and a generally great game (so far), it has moved Penny Arcade even closer to being the greatest discovery of my life. Not only do their comics inspire me, but game design is something that has interested me for a long time (though I never seriously considered it before a couple of months ago), and I had never made the connection between Penny Arcade and my own plans. But there they are, a comic strip and game creator. And I think I mentioned previously that the creators really click with my way of thinking. If it turned out Tycho was planning to write a fantasy adventure novel, I think I would freak out a little bit.

Actually, they did do a strip about that, but as a joke, and he never wrote it. Though they did make a wiki for fans to write it. Which they did. And I haven’t read.

I’ll review the game when I’ve played more of it, but it’s definitely looking positive right now.

Unimportant News of the Day

December 13, 2008 at 8:04 pm | In News | Leave a Comment
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I spent a few hours today drawing a few of the Penny Arcade characters. Penny Arcade is my favourite webcomic, and the one I draw the most inspiration from. The artistic style in particular, I find really suits the vision I had/have for my own comic, which is perfect. The writing is incredible, and I hope to one day be a able to write to the standard that they do.

Anyway, the point of this is that this is the first time I’ve attempted to draw in a while, excluding some small experimentation a few months ago, which I had temporarily posted on this blog. But this is the first in relation to the comic, and I felt really good about it. Not that what I drew was of any great quality, but it was enjoyable, and I could see definite potential, and even improvement over the few hours. So, I feel really good about the future of the artistic side of the comic.

Next step, of course, is to try drawing my own characters. That will be a lot harder, because I won’t have a point of reference, other than the images in my head. And of course, I won’t be drawing it in the same way as Penny Arcade, they’re just artistic inspiration. But it’s something I look forward to.

Oh, and I’ve been playing Mario Galaxy a fair bit lately. I tried to get into it a few months ago, and it didn’t work for me. But I’ve given it a second go, and I’m really enjoying it. I still don’t like the Wiimote as a controller for a platformer, but it’s playable, and the level of difficulty is perfect. I’ll play it a bit more then give it a proper review, in lieu of anything new to review. 

I haven’t written RoB much at all lately. I’ve been caught up in the comic, and also just haven’t felt any great urge to write the next part. It’s a pity, but I’ll definitely jump back into it soon. I just need to get some other stuff out of the way, and find myself another source of inspiration for it.

I think that’s about all from me.

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